A noisy child will always receive more in life than a quiet child. An extrovert is alive while introverts just exist.
Today’s real life lessons for little children: Don’t work hard but make a lot of noise to be noticed even if what you have to say is of no value, even blatantly offensive or anti-social as no one will enforce any complaints procedure beyond mentioning it to you. In fact this is good as you will be able to identify enemies and work towards making their life hell. You are not there to work as a part of a team with others; they are there to have the pleasure of your company as you bring light to their dull lives.
When you finally do a little work, instead of causing trouble, or sitting around as others work as usual or distracting others who need to focus, everyone will praise you and laud your efforts while those who did their work without needing to be bombarded with platitudes will be taken for granted.
• Be dismissive of anyone you know won’t fight back as it’s a win/win situation for you. Introverts are the enemy who can’t fight back.
• Someone noticed for doing a little will always be more valued than someone who works diligently in silence.
• ‘Good communication skills’ are not about giving information in a concise, clear, manner as customer service to internal and external customers but more so that you can win people over to your side or act in such a manner they feel uncomfortable with confronting you or expressing their own views. If they do just ignore them because the only thing that matters is your world view.
• People love sociopathic extroverts and it’s something society believes you should aspire to be in business.
• Don’t be a team player, except as a step towards self-promotion, be a leader instead. If there is someone you don’t like for no good reason just ignore them and make sure to be over the top in your faux friendly behaviour to others going even as far as invading someone’s personal space inappropriately.
• Other people are to be used as tools not to be considered human beings worthy of respect. Be overtly friendly to current co-workers of course but only have pleasantries with former co-workers. If you completely change you job cut all ties with any who do not seem like they will be beneficial down the road.
• It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. It has been worded differently overtime but it stands the test of time.
• An important distinction to make for male and female extroverts: It is fine for a female extrovert to be overly aggressive in tone and manner, even as far as making overt threats, but a male extrovert will be unable to do such things without it being commented on. A male must be passive aggressive using sarcasm and demeaning banter to achieve their goals. If challenged on your conduct ignore the challenge except if it is senior staff. In this situation make exaggerated gestures of weakness and repentance as a wounded gazelle gambit and witness how effective it is. Be as minimally courteous as you can be to the complainant, for a short time, but then return to the old behaviour once the dust has settled. If you are lucky they might even move the complainer somewhere else to give you an easy life. It’s win/win.
• Remember that banter is a great excuse to be abusive towards people you don’t respect. If the other person takes offense it’s because they don’t have a sense of humour not because you crossed a line.
• Pretend to work on the behalf of others but always keep in mind you are the only one that is important. Helping others is something they teach children to make them comply but capitalism is what they endorse once you are of working age. You are important and in constant competition with everyone else.
• If you don’t succeed it is always someone else’s fault remember. You must accept no personal responsibility for failure, only praise for achievement, especially if it was by someone else’s effort.
• Make sure to mark someone out as ‘other’ to people you wish to influence. Nothing unifies people quicker than a common enemy to criticise. Nothing unites people better than a mutually opposed concept personified.
• Happiness can only be achieved if others suffer. Be loud. Be obnoxious. You do not matter unless you make everyone pay for the slightest effort from you. Work smart not hard.
• If your child is introvert then you need to break them of that habit. In the old days they made left handed people write with their right hand because right is literally right. It caused stuttering and other issues in them but at least they could actually contribute to society afterwards. Famously Winston Churchill had a stutter but you would never know it considering he was one of the greatest prime ministers of Great Britain. You ever see ‘The King’s Speech’ ? Same thing: Introverts are less than human and just taking up space good extrovert ‘characters’ deserve. Better to get rid of the lot of them than let them waste precious air. Or ignore them. It makes no difference they are like extras in a movie scene that serve no other purpose.
This is a satirical piece regarding the constant bombardment of over the top characters television keeps presenting us with on reality shows and its influence on society. The people on the programmes are seeking to entertain and so adopt an extravagant persona but are far more calm in real life. However the media influences real life and so there seem to be far more sociopathic people nowadays believing the persona is the norm and that seeking immediate results is something you should expect due to the short term, high gain, talent shows present them with. You don’t have to work hard, just give a good presentation is the message that has stuck.
Everything is facade as if we never learnt anything from the 1980s fixations on such things as ’greed is good’ which ironically was meant to be a social commentary not a paragon of virtue to business men of the time. The concept of hard work or keeping your head down seems a long lost concept to younger generations. Such behaviour is fine during peace time but during times of conflict or regime change these types become liabilities. However in Britain this will never truly come to pass unlike other areas of the world and thus the self-centred and egotistical will thrive.
I don’t agree with these life lessons but it seems they are sadly becoming true nowadays. Hopefully the next generation will be different.
This is meant to be satirical but in hindsight satire and banter are just two sides of the same coin: the former is pseudo-intellectual while the latter is pseudo-wit.
Apparently pouring water into my ear is not advisable though it has soothed the pain tremendously. Just feels a bit like that ‘stuffy head’ sensation you get with a cold although I do feel very tired though. Not that anyone cares. It is all pointless. I will just lie around again today as nothing can be achieved. Another wasted day of life giving others even more of a head start in securing power and respect without earning it with long term effort. It’s better perhaps if I don’t leave the house from now on and let the world get on with it.
A companion piece regarding the advantages of introverts over extroverts is also available: https://ramblingatthebridgehead.wordpress.com/2015/04/15/real-life-lessons-be-introvert-not-extrovert/
3 thoughts on “Real Life Lessons: Is It Better To Be An Extrovert Than An Introvert?”
I’m not sure about the male/female distinction, but apart from that, an excellent insight into the subject, Mr Hearne.
dziękuję pani Anna w Walii.
A companion piece regarding the benefits of introverts will be uploaded in due course.