The Mad Gardener’s Song by Lewis Carroll

He thought he saw an Elephant,

That practised on a fife:

He looked again and found it was

A letter from his wife.

‘At length I realize,’ he said,

‘The bitterness of Life!’

He thought he saw a buffalo

Upon the chimney-piece:

He looked again, and found it was

His Sister’s Husband’s Niece.

‘Unless you leave this house,’ he said,

‘I’ll send for the Police!’

He though he saw a Rattlesnake

That questioned him in Greek:

He looked again, and found it was

The Middle of Next Week.

‘The one thing I regret,’ he said,

‘Is that it cannot speak!’

He thought he saw a Banker’s Clerk

Descending from the bus:

He looked again, and found it was

A Hippopotamus:

‘If this should stay to dine,’ he said,

‘There won’t be much for us!’

He thought he saw a Kangaroo

That worked a coffee-mill:

He looked again, and found it was

A Vegetable-Pill.

‘Were I to swallow this,’ he said,

‘I should be very ill!’

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four

That stood beside his bed:

He looked again, and found it was

A Bear without a Head.

‘Poor thing,’ he said, ‘poor silly thing!’

‘It’s waiting to be fed!’

He thought he saw an Albatross

That fluttered round the lamp:

He looked again, and found it was

A Penny-Postage-Stamp.

‘You’d best be getting home,’ he said:

‘The nights are very damp!’

He thought he saw a Garden-Door

That opened with a key:

He looked again, and found it was

A double Rule of Three:

‘And all its mystery,’ he said,

‘Is clear as day to me!’

He thought he saw an Argument

That proved he was the Pope

He looked again, and found it was

A Bar of Mottled Soap.

‘A fact so dread,’ he faintly said,

‘Extinguishes all hope!’

– By Lewis Carroll


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mrhearne

Poetry, theatre, literature, films, reviews and various other matters.

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