When Aunty Joan became a phone,
She sat there not saying a thing.
The doctor said, shaking his head,
‘You’ll just have to give her a ring.’
We had a try, but got no reply.
The tone was always engaged.
‘She’s just being silly,’ said Uncle Billy,
Slamming down the receiver enraged.
‘Alas, I fear,’ said the engineer,
Who was called in to inspect her,
‘I’ve got no choice. She’s lost her voice.
I shall have to disconnect her.’
The phone gave a ring. ‘You’ll do no such thing,’
Said Aunty’s voice on the line.
‘I like being a phone. Just leave me alone,
Or else I’ll dial nine-nine-nine!’
– by Derek Stuart