Zonky Zizzibug by Brian Patten

I’ve just appeared in this classroom

I did not use the door.

I have just materialized

Through the classroom floor.


Do not call me a liar.

Do not call me a cheat.

No, teacher cannot see me,

Sitting in this seat.


My name is Zonky Zizzibug.

I don’t know why you laugh.

This book is not a comic,

It’s an extra-terrestial graph.


I don’t care what you say.

Oh please don’t be a bore!

I did just materialize.

I did not use the door.


I have an anti-matter,

Anti-gravity device.

I also have a pill

For turning schoolboys into mice.


Do not call me a liar.

Do not call me a cheat.

You are not imagining things.

Do not blame the heat.


I have been to Venus.

I have been to Mars.

I’ve even been to Uranus.

And several other stars.


Of course my blood is green!

The aerial on my head?

Oh that’s just something

That stops me being dead.


How dare you laugh and scoff!

Shush. Everyone will hear.

Look, now teacher’s giving you

A very funny stare.


I won’t say I’m Zonky zizzibug.

I am going to go away.

I’m only allowed to play on earth

for a single day.


I’m going to drift round the classroom.

I’m going to float up in the air.

Then I’m going back off home

Because laughing is not fair.


I won’t become visible.

I won’t float down from the shelf.

I do not care if teacher

Thinks you are talking to yourself.


by Brian Patten

Published by


Russian and Welsh poetry. Updated every Sunday. Also reviews of literature, films, theatre, food and drink, etc. Any support or engagement is appreciated.

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