There Was An Old Woman by Gregory Harrison

There was an old woman

Who used so much yeast,

She turned on her heel to get the tins greased

And the whole

Of the dough

Filled the bowl

And the table,

And fell to the floor

And crawled through the door

Past old Neddy’s stable,

And off down the street,

A multinous,

Glutinous,

Rubbery,

Blubbery,

River of sponge that stuck to your feet,

And got up your sleeve,

And, would you believe,

As it got thicker

Carried away the policeman and vicar.

They called the old woman

And she tried, the poor soul,

To claw it and pull it back into the bowl,

But grab at it, push at it, heave as she could

It just went on crawling;

It was really no good.

The dustman, the fireman, the WVS

Were all called to help to clean up the mess,

But in spite of their efforts it crawled up the hill,

And, as far as I know,

They’re cleaning up still.

 

by Gregory Harrison

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