The Mad Gardener’s Song by Lewis Carroll

He thought he saw an Elephant,

That practised on a fife:

He looked again and found it was

A letter from his wife.

‘At length I realize,’ he said,

‘The bitterness of Life!’

He thought he saw a buffalo

Upon the chimney-piece:

He looked again, and found it was

His Sister’s Husband’s Niece.

‘Unless you leave this house,’ he said,

‘I’ll send for the Police!’

He though he saw a Rattlesnake

That questioned him in Greek:

He looked again, and found it was

The Middle of Next Week.

‘The one thing I regret,’ he said,

‘Is that it cannot speak!’

He thought he saw a Banker’s Clerk

Descending from the bus:

He looked again, and found it was

A Hippopotamus:

‘If this should stay to dine,’ he said,

‘There won’t be much for us!’

He thought he saw a Kangaroo

That worked a coffee-mill:

He looked again, and found it was

A Vegetable-Pill.

‘Were I to swallow this,’ he said,

‘I should be very ill!’

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four

That stood beside his bed:

He looked again, and found it was

A Bear without a Head.

‘Poor thing,’ he said, ‘poor silly thing!’

‘It’s waiting to be fed!’

He thought he saw an Albatross

That fluttered round the lamp:

He looked again, and found it was

A Penny-Postage-Stamp.

‘You’d best be getting home,’ he said:

‘The nights are very damp!’

He thought he saw a Garden-Door

That opened with a key:

He looked again, and found it was

A double Rule of Three:

‘And all its mystery,’ he said,

‘Is clear as day to me!’

He thought he saw an Argument

That proved he was the Pope

He looked again, and found it was

A Bar of Mottled Soap.

‘A fact so dread,’ he faintly said,

‘Extinguishes all hope!’

– By Lewis Carroll


A Sense-less Poem by Carey Blyton

I’m having trouble with my ears –

They do not see so well.

My eyes are also failing fast –

They’ve lost their sense of smell.

My nose has lost its power of speech,

My tongue, its sense of touch;

Alas, your sympathy’s in vain –

My hands can’t hear you much.

– by Carey Blyton


This poem reminded me of Kevin Beckman, played by Chris Hemsworth, in the 2016 film Ghostbusters.

Today I Wrote Nothing Like Daniil Kharms

16. Today I wrote nothing. Doesn’t matter.

Daniil Kharms,The Blue Notebook, 9 January, 1937

23. To have only intelligence and talent is too little. One must also have energy, real interest, clarity of thought and a sense of obligation.

25. Enough of laziness and doing nothing! Open this notebook every day and write down half a page at the very least. If you have nothing to write down, then at least, following Gogol’s advice, write down that today there’s nothing to write. Always write with attention and look on writing as  a holiday.

Daniil Kharms,The Blue Notebook, 11 April, 1937


So I didn’t update for a few days due to my cat dying and issues at work. Over the next few days hopefully I will be able to knock out a few reviews of some DVDs I watched recently. Now I made the effort to type something it should hopefully come back into motion again.

Daniil Kharms  (Russian Даниил Иванович Хармс; 30 December [O.S. 17 December] 1905 – 2 February 1942) was an early Soviet-era surrealist and absurdist poet, writer and dramatist..He came to be known for his children’s literature. Not too much of his work is available in English, or at least it doesn’t feel like it is as so much of it was composed of notebooks, letters, etc which were passed around as he was deemed to be in direct conflict with the state approved and enforced Realism movement in the arts. Kharms was arrested on suspicion of treason in the summer of 1941. He was imprisoned in the psychiatric ward at Leningrad Prison No. 1. and died in his cell in February 1942—most likely, from starvation, as the Nazi blockade of Leningrad had already begun.

If you are at all interested in Russian literature or Absurdist/Surrealist writing I would recommend hunting out some of his works as, despite their fragmented style, they are amusing and an insight into the repressed counter-culture of Stalinist Russia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniil_Kharms