There once lived a red-headed man who had no eyes or ears.
He also had no hair, so he was only in a manner of speaking called red-haired.
He couldn’t speak, since he had no mouth. He had no nose either.
He didn’t even have arms or legs. And he had no stomach, and he had no back, and he had no spine, and he had no innards at all. He had nothing at all! So there’s no knowing who we are talking about.
We’d better not talk about him any more.
by Даниил Иванович Хармс (Daniil Ivanovich Kharms)
a.k.a. Даниил Иванович Ювачёв (Daniil Ivanovich Yuvachov)
translated by Robert Chandler