There once lived a four-legged crow. Properly speaking, it had five legs, but this isn’t worth talking about.
So once this four-legged crow brought itself some coffee and thought, “OK, so I bought coffee, what I am supposed to do with it now?”
Just then, unfortunately, a fox was running by. The fox saw the crow and shouted. “Hey,” it shouted, “you crow!”
And the crow shouted back: “Crow yourself!”
And the fox shouted to the crow: “You’re a pig, crow, that’s what you are!”
The Crow was so insulted it scattered the coffee. And the fox ran off. And the crow climbed down and went on its four, or to be more precise, five legs to its lousy house.
by Даниил Иванович Хармс (Daniil Ivanovich Kharms)
a.k.a. Даниил Иванович Ювачёв (Daniil Ivanovich Yuvachov)
(13 February, 1938)
translated by Eugene Ostashevsky