Jealousy by Inna Lisnianskaya

I look out the window at the retreating back.

Your jealousy is both touching and comical.

Can’t you see I am old and scary, a witch,

and apart from you no one needs me at all!

 

Well, what’s so touching and funny in that?

Jealous, you’re keen to send all of them packing

away from our home, with it’s roof’s mossy coat,

and our life which consists entirely of sacking.

 

But they do not desist, out of kindness of sorts –

from scraping away the moss, checking a rafter,

and they bring flowers as well, to thank me

for your still being alive and so well looked after.

 

And they stay away with something else, a notion

of how to survive as the years advance

and still be loved, and, with time running out,

to listen to eulogies, fresher than the news.

 

And my attachment, the truth of my love, no less,

they envy. So keep your jealousy buttoned up!

In this world, with its surfeit of painful loss,

let me open the door with a smile on my lips.

 

by Инна Львовна Лиснянская (Inna Lvovna Lisnyanskaya)

(2001)

translated by Daniel Weissbort


She was the wife of Semyon Lipkin. The above poem was written shortly before his death.

There isn’t much about her in English so if you want to know more you may have to research her husband intially and work from there for biographical details. However one collection of her poetic works titled ‘Far from Sodom‘ is available in English should you wish to read more of her writing.

She was born in Baku and published her first collection in 1957 then moved to Moscow three years later. In 1979 she and her husband resigned from the Union of Soviet Writers in protest to the expulsion of Viktor Yerofeyev and Yevgeny Popov from it. The following seven years her works were only published abroad though from 1986 she was able to publish regularly and was awarded several important prizes.

Advertisement

An Interaction At The Workplace

Today I was waiting to be served when I heard the checkout staff having a conversation.

Dramatis Personae of the skit:
Troll Girl – about 4 foot tall, rectangular head with greasy blonde hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. She wears a red t-shirt with baggy trousers and has the bored yet dazed expression of cattle. He voice is low and ejaculated in the warped guttural growl caused by speaking the patois of the valleys. She is ageless. I would guess early twenties but she could be anywhere between 16 to 40 her features are of such a strangely timelessly blank setting.
Young Man – About 5 foot 9 inches, so not ‘manly tall’ but sufficiently enough he towered over the girl. An oval face with a gelled Mohawk hairstyle and skin slightly too pink as if he had used defoliating pads excessively. Wears a black buttoned up shirt and matching trousers. He is likely in his early 20s but could be younger.

TG: So how you getta invite to sucha fancy doo den? I din get invited…
YM: Dunno, they just asked me.
TG: You gonna weara rented tux like you said you was? You gonna cumin an’ show me it before you go?
YM: (visibly uncomfortable) Um… no I will probably go straight there since its straight after work and I’ll only have enough time to get ready before leaving.

Sometimes I wonder if people don’t know how to respect co-worker’s boundaries. Often I think I am perhaps asking too much of co-workers sometimes but, on the other hand, it is to show an interest in them as an individual outside of being a co-worker and often I just hope it sparks a conversation over potential common ground we may not have been aware of otherwise. More often than not I feel like I am being needlessly nosey though. Maybe I am… I hope not…The girl seemed needlessly intrusive and passive aggressive. I got the impression the guy had been invited to something prestegious so there was a bit of projected jealousy being taken out on him needlessly.

… Saying that he put a bottle of barbeque sauce in with my new, light coloured, coat so I can’t give him that much sympathy as cruel as it sounds. Decorum and all that hey what old chap. Bit of the old common sense. Buying a new coat here – wouldn’t mind having an extra bag to ensure I don’t need to risk returning with a complaint of ‘the reason the coat is damaged is your staff don’t practice due care in their duties’. Probably would fight tooth and nail not to give a refund, replacement or credit note. Kind of get the impression it could be that kind of place.

We have to pay for carrier bags in shops here in Wales in case you were unaware. 5 pence per carrier bag they charge! Where does that money go? The government told businesses to charge for bags but not what to do with the money they take for them. Some give it to charity while others treat it as an extra bit of profit. It was meant to put people off wasting plastic bags or littering with them, in order to aid national recycling efforts, but it seems to have had no real effect except that one time a celebrity was seen with a give-a-way fabric bag and crowds flocked to have one of their own as conscientiously dedicated followers of fashion.


Yes I had nothing to write today… thus you get a little bit of rambling but then what did you expect to find on a blog called ‘Rambling At The BridgeHead’?

Tomorrow… Who knows what I will write. Something more interesting hopefully.