A Love Story by William Cole

‘What are you doing now, my pretty maid?’

‘I’m going to sneeze, kind sir,’ she said.

‘You ain’t gonna sneeze at me, are you?’

‘Yes, I’m going to sneeze,’ she said, ‘AT-CHEW!’

 

by William Cole

A Funny Pome by Rod Hull

If every gnu in London zoo

Disappeared forever,

You’d have to say, ‘That’s the end of the gnus –

– And now it’s time for the weather.’

– by Rod Hull

Stalking A Story by Julie Holder

Down near the jungle

From whence we get our zoos,

Cub reporters are a-hunting

Good gnus

Bad gnus.

by Julie Holder

The Noise In The Himalayas by J Patrick Lewis

The yak is the talkative species of ox

and that’s how he passes the bull.

And over the eyes of the sheep in their flocks,

he’s usually pulling the wool.

 

The way you can tell them apart is a snap

for the fact of the matter is

the bull never bothers to open his yap

and the yak never closes his.

 

The leopard, the lion, the hawk and the dove

are scribbling notes in the snow

as they listen to speeches and sermons on love

from the yak who surely should know.

 

Not a bull can be heard in the Himalayas –

the bulls have gone home to relax.

The racket you hear in the mountains all day is

the yackety-yackety-yaks.

 

by J Patrick Lewis

Tutor by Anon

A tutor who taught on the flute

Tried to teach two young tooters to toot,

Said the two to the tutor,

‘Is it harder to toot, or

To tutor two tooters to toot?’

– by Anon.