On Current Corporal Punishment by David R. Morgan

There was a young teacher from Staines

Who simply hated the use of Canes;

He had other controls

For deviant souls,

Such as plugging them into the Mains.

by David R. Morgan

Sardicarus by John Cunliffe

A baby sardine

In a flying machine

Flew much too near to the sun.

Said his mum,

‘It’s ridiculous,

You’re not Icarus!’

‘No,’ said the kid,

‘but it’s fun.’

by John Cunliffe

When You Stand On The Tip Of Your Nose by N M Bodecker

When you stand on the tip of your nose,

keeping perfectly still,

while the birds build their nests twixt your toes,

as they certainly will,

speak kind and encouraging words,

don’t wiggle however it goes,

as you might inconvenience the birds

or scamble their eggs with your toes.

 

by N. M. Bodecker

The Platypus Said… by Julie Holder

Dishonest am I

And here is the proof:

I can only lie

And that is the truth.

 

by Julie Holder

The Sick Young Dragon by Derek Stuart

‘What can I do?’ young dragon cried.

‘Although I’ve simply tried and tried,

It doesn’t matter how hard I blow,

I can not get my fire to go!’

‘Open your mouth!’ his mother said.

‘It’s no wonder!’ Your throat’s not red.

Your scales are cold. You must be ill.

I think you must have caught a chill.’

The doctor came. He looked and said,

‘You’ll need a day or two in bed.

Your temperature’s down. No doubt,

That’s the reason your fire’s gone out.

Just drink this petrol. Chew these nails.

They’ll help you to warm up your scales.

Just take it easy. Watch TV

You’ll soon be right as rain, you’ll see.’

Young dragon did as he was told

And soon his scales stopped feeling cold.

Hee sneezed some sparks. His face glowed bright.

He coughed and set the sheets alight.

‘Oh dear!’ he cried. ‘I’ve burnt the bed!’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ his mother said.

‘Those sheets were old. Go out and play.

Just watch where you breathe fire today!’

by Derek Stuart