One Man Fell Asleep by Daniil Kharms

One man fell asleep a believer but woke up an atheist.
Luckily, this man kept medical scales in his room, because he was in the habit of weighing himself every morning and every evening. And so, going to sleep the night before, he had weighed himself and had found out he weighed four poods and 21 pounds. But the following morning, waking up an atheist, he weighed himself again and found out that now he weighed only four poods thirteen pounds. “Therefore,” he concluded, “my faith weighed approximately eight pounds.”


by Даниил Иванович Хармс (Daniil Ivanovich Kharms)
a.k.a. Даниил Иванович Ювачёв (Daniil Ivanovich Yuvachov)
(1936-37)
translated by Eugene Ostashevsky

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‘Perechin sat on a thumbtack…’ by Daniil Kharms

Perechin sat on a thumbtack, and from that moment his life changed drastically. Ordinarily a thoughtful, quiet person, Perechin transformed into a typical scoundrel. He grew out his mustache and from that point onwards trimmed them with exceptional clumsiness, so that one of his mustaches was always longer than the other. And, generally speaking, his mustache grew a bit crooked. It became impossible to even look at Perechin. Adding to that, he got in the habit of winking and jerking his jowl in the most loathsome manner. For a while, Perechin limited himself to petty baseness: he gossiped, he ratted, and he cheated tram conductors by paying them in the smallest bronze coins and always underpaying by two or even three kopecks.

 

by Даниил Иванович Хармс (Daniil Ivanovich Kharms)

a.k.a. Даниил Иванович Ювачёв (Daniil Ivanovich Yuvachov)

(Wednesday, 14 October 1940)

translated by Matvei Yankelevich

Russian Short Stories To Read Over The New Year and Christmas Period

Happy New Year to you all! Blwyddyn Newydd Dda! С новым годом!

New Year’s Day and to a lesser extent Christmas are a major holidayperiod in Russia and of course some of her greatest writers wrote stories set during this time of year.

You may wonder why I titled this entry with New Year preceding Christmas. The answer is quite simple: In Russia the Eastern Orthodox Church follows the Julian calender and thus celebrates Christmas Day on or near January 7. This date works to be December 25, in the Julian Calender, which pre-dates the Gregorian calendar most of us use today.

Nonetheless here is the reading list for you to choose from:

  • THE NEW YEAR’S TREE by Mikhail Zoshchenko
  • THE BOYS by Anton Chekhov
  • A CHRISTMAS TREE AND A WEDDING by Fyodor Dostoevsky
  • AT CHRISTMASTIDE by Anton Chekhov
  • DREAM OF A YOUNG TSAR by Lev Tolstoy
  • MAKAR’S DREAM by Vladimir Korolenko
  • A WOMAN’S KINGDOM by Anton Chekhov
  • A DISTANT CHRISTMAS EVE by Kaudia Lukashevich
  • THE LITTLE BOY AT CHRIST’S CHRISTMAS TREE by Fyodor Dostoevsky
  • CHRISTMAS PHANTOMS by Maxim Gorky
  • A LIFELESS ANIMAL by Teffi (a.k.a. Nadezhda Lokhvitskaya)
  • MY LAST CHRISTMAS by Mikhail Zoshchenko

There are no doubt many others so if you have any recommendations please leave a comment.