I thought I’d win the spelling bee
And get right to the top,
But I started to spell ‘banana,’
And I didn’t know when to stop.
– by William Cole
Tag: spelling
Please Ptell Me Pterodactyl by Charles Connell
Please ptell me, Pterodactyl,
Who ptaught you how pto fly?
Who ptaught you how pto flap your wings
And soar up in the sky?
No prehistoric monster
Could ptake off just like you
and pturn and ptwist and ptaxi
Way up there in the blue.
Pray ptell me, Pterodactyl,
Just how you spent your day.
What were your favourite hobbies?
Did you gather nuts in May?
Did you ever throw a nimble dart,
Ptry Karate or Kung-Fu,
Or ptake up stamp-collecting,
Or paddle a canoe?
Were you ever a numismatist,
A ptenderfoot or scout?
Did you join the local chess club?
Did you ever ptickle ptrout?
Did you sometimes perch in ptree-ptops,
Beech or oak or sycamore?
Did the branch snap off and did you
Crash down on the forest floor?
Were you bird or were you lizard?
Ptell me that at least I beg.
And one final thing I ask you –
Did you ever lay an egg?
On one count I must reproach you;
You are difficult pto spell,
Worse than ptarmigan or ptom-ptit,
(Silent ‘p’s’ make spelling hell!)
– by Charles Connell
Spelling Game by Iain Crichton Smith
If the plural of house is houses
and the plural of mouse is mice
why then the plural of rouses
should surely be written as rice
and if the plural of deer is deer
and the plural of fish is fish
then the plural of beer should be beer
and the plural of dish should be dish.
If mouses run over our houses
and eat up our loaves and our scones
why then our lice should be louses
and our phones should be sounded as phons.
– by Iain Crichton Smith
