Limer-eeks by Ann McGovern

A werewolf named Wendy is fair,

So long as the sun is up there.

But when the moon rises,

She puts on disguises –

With Fangs and a lot of coarse hair.


 

A ghoul and his girl, for a lark,

Went strolling one night in the park.

They stopped under a light

And the ghoul cried in fright

EEK! Quick, dear, get back in the dark.


 

It’s said there are spooks who find fun

In undoing things that are done.

They go to foot races

And untie shoelaces,

Then watch people trip as they run.


 

There once was a demon as green

As any there ever had been.

He would hide in the grass

To watch people pass,

Convinced that he couldn’t be seen.


 

There once was a pale apparition,

Who suffered from grave malnutrition.

Said Mom, ‘You’ll be a ghost,

If you don’t eat your toast.’

Answered he, ‘That’s just superstition.’


 

– all limericks are by Ann McGovern

The Bongaloo by Spike Milligan

‘What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?’

‘A Bongaloo, Son,’ said I,

‘Is a tall bag of cheese

Plus a Chinaman’s knees

And the leg of a nanny goat’s eye’.

‘How strange is a Bongaloo, Daddy?’

‘As strange as strange,’ I replied.

‘When the sun’s in the West

It appears in a vest

Sailing out with the noonday tide.’

‘What shape is a Bongaloo, Daddy?’

‘The shape, my Son, I’ll explain:

It’s tall round the nose

Which continually grows

In the general direction of Spain’.

‘Are you sure there’s a Bongaloo, Daddy?’

‘Am I sure, my Son?’ said I.

‘Why, I’ve seen it not quite

On a dark sunny night

Do you think that I’d tell you a lie?’

by Spike Milligan

Ladies and Jellybeans by Anon

Ladies and jellybeans,

Reptiles and crocodiles,

I stand before you

And sit behind you

To tell you something

I know nothing about.

There will be a meeting tomorrow night

Right after breakfast

To decide which colour

To whitewash the church.

There is no admission;

Just pay at the door.

There will be plenty of seats,

So sit on the floor.

 

– by Anon

Misty Rain on Mount Lu by Su Tungpo

Misty Rain on Mouth Lu,

and waves surging in Che-chiang.

When you have not yet been there,

many a regret surely you have;

but once there and heading homeward,

how matter-of-fact everything looks!

Misty rain on Mount Lu,

and waves surging in Che-chiang.

 

by Su Tungpo (a.k.a. Su Shi a.k.a. Su Dongpo a.k.a. Zizhan a.k.a. Dongpo Jushi)

I Went To The Pictures Tomorrow by Anon

I went to the pictures tomorrow

I took a front seat at the back,

I fell from the pit to the gallery

And broke a front bone in my back.

A lady she gave me some chocolate,

I ate it and gave it her back.

I phoned for a taxi and walked it,

And that’s why I never came back.

 

by Anon

Sonnet 73 by William Shakespeare

That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see’st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west;
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death’s second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see’st the glowing of such fire,
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the deathbed whereon it must expire,
Consumed with that which it was nourished by.
This thou perceiv’st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

by William Shakespeare