Occult girl Misa Kuroi goes to a new high school to prevent the summoning of the devil by a cult. She makes no effort to hide she is a witch. Everyone in the school loves the occult. She becomes very popular despite the fact her only line in the entire film could be ‘I am a witch’ in the manner of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.
All the kids in this school know way too much about the occult and even figure out the series of recent murders, the last of which opens this film in a lazy rehash of the priest’s death from ‘The Omen’, all form a giant pentagram meant to summon the devil and their high school is the nexus…. With these sort of deduction skills maybe we don’t need the Scooby gang, let alone ‘Occult Girl Misa: Magical Soldier of Indifference’, to come to the rescue.
The skinny boy is apparently handsome, in that androgynous way the Japanese have loved ever since the Heian era, and due to this seems excused for being overly aggressive and shouting at the female characters constantly. This is something I often see in films – as long as a guy is handsome it is acceptable for him to treat women like dirt and not be judged for it. Although he is not the protagonist I often see this behaviour in Japanese films set in high schools. The girls in this film seem to just let themselves be killed under the pretence of ‘oh but he’s so handsome and I have a crush on him. He would never do something like this!’ Cue the girl tripping over her own feet and being stabbed or bludgeoned to death. In fairness he was possessed but nonetheless you would think common sense, even in horror film, would suggest they run away from him. They don’t run nor do they fight and thus all are posthumously given Darwin awards.
The lesbian teacher and the student she is grooming are pointless side characters used for fan service. They serve as examples of social deviants and…. Yes both die but not before the teacher is revealed as a cult member and the groomed student is sacrificed. My favourite moment is when the class are doing a test and the teacher takes the student outside for some frisky time. I watched this thinking ‘everyone would notice that and in reality would have been gossiping about the pair long before they became this blatant about it’. When will the girl do the test? Perhaps hitting sensei’s G-spot gets you an A grade?
Kuroi’s new best friend (Miho Kanno) walks up to her saying ‘wow you’re so cool’ at the start and hangs around most of the film to basically tell anyone unfamiliar with the manga (i.e. basically all foreigners) that this is the heroine of the story and she is fantastic and so stoic it makes everyone fall in love with her instantly for being so undeniably cool. This goes on for most of the film with her playing the sidekick role over reacting to everything. Guess what? She is the big bad. This wasn’t a surprise as by this point in the film everyone else was dead. What I found hilarious is that all the cult members, when hooded, have deep baritone masculine voice overs but as soon as the hoods are lowered its women with high pitch voices. I guess this was to hide the revelation that the cult was comprised of women? Hilarious nonetheless in how inane it is.
So we reach the denouement. The possessed boy is dead – how I can’t remember but considering how the murders were done via ‘no handsome-kun you’re too handsome to be evil! Then the girl falls over squealing before being killed by him (also squealing) and he wanders off, covered in blood, to find the next girl to kill’ I really couldn’t care less.
Teenage cult leader-chan has revealed herself and has finalised the ceremony to summon the devil. Misa can do nothing to stop it and is unceremoniously turned to ash. Yes the hero who didn’t very little just got killed. But this is based on a Japanese shonen manga so there will be some insane way she comes back. Cult-chan summons the devil. The CGI, for the time, is really impressive as the devil looms over the school… and then her face gets ripped off immediately and her innards fly up into the sky. She couldn’t contain the power? The devil decided ‘nope don’t like look of your face’? Who knows who cares? The devil disappears.
Disaster is avoided without the protagonist actively doing anything. Misa gets resurrected by some hair kept in the locket she wears. It has been featured earlier in the film but considering what a deus ex-machina it is I omitted mentioning it before so you could get a sense of how out of leftfield this comes. Misa melodramatically cries over the loss of her new best friend/devil summoning Cult-chan who was the only person who could understand her. Music plays and next we see is Misa walking off to the next school to solve the next occult incident. Misa your so cool in that ‘Just happened to be there and survive despite everything’ way. Men want her, women want to be her.
Review: 90s Japanese film fodder starring a Gravure Idol. It’s hilarious in how bad it is. Give it a watch just to see how low budget it is. The effects for the devil were admittedly the stand out bit where most of the budget must have gone. Did I watch this without subtitles? Damn right! Did I miss any subtleties? Well probably the cookie cutter character types and some details that would be forgotten ten minutes later but this is as generic as it gets so no, no, I didn’t. If anything it improved the experience – especially when I made it move at double the speed. I had known for this for two decades and never got arouns to watching it. It was amusing but low budget, as many Japanese films tend to be as they are more of a ‘television series’ kind of audience, so go in expecting little and you will enjoy. Go in expecting something with the budget of an American film and you will be disappointed. Remember this was based on an old manga and everything will be okay.
Not what you were expecting? Well it was hopefully fun to read this more irreverent kind of review…
Comment, like or follow – all welcome.